Chasing Rainbows

Sometimes I’m on it
Thoughts aligned
Chiming burnished dreams of gold
Sometimes the demons
Bring me down
’till the heat of the day turns cold
A mile below daylight
A day behind now
A fall to toneless end of the day
The overrun thought
The empty skin
The fight to hold darkness at bay
But I’ll rise up again
And I’ll smile again
The sun will come rolling over that hill
And it’s mine again
Over the line again
Life again bends to the weight of my will

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Journey’s End

I don’t know where I’m going,
I just know I’m arriving there soon.
I feel the journey all over my bones
While I’m whistling a familiar tune.

Some of these days are forever,
And some days are yesterday’s news,
Like a barefoot stroll in the sunshine
Or like wearing an old pair of shoes.

I’m going, I’m coming, I’ve lost it,
Like a shit, Friday night juggling act.
Stand clear, stand fast, but stand by me
My bullshit’s about to be unpacked.

Strength

I wish I was much stronger
With a never ending will
Where possibilities abound
Without a happy pill
But I’m just fucking not
I’m an easy broken mess
If a glass is holding water
Well, take a fucking guess.
I need a drink to make it
Through an average day
And once the bottle empties
There’s another on its way.
So leave me to myself
I know this, it’s my ‘thing’
It’s just my fucking life, and
Here, I’m the fucking King.

Mind Games

Where can I lay my tired head
Before the sick machine breaks
The gears inside may be whirring
But, such a beating it takes.
A little still less is holding hard,
A little less to take home to Ma
The trail of juice descends to me
Following me obediently to the bar.
My box is ready, my shit is packed,
My machine is straddling the limit.
My ending calls as my mercury falls
If this is my precipice, I’m on it.

Chasing Rainbows

Sometimes I’m on it
Thoughts aligned
Chiming burnished dreams of gold
Sometimes the demons
Bring me down
’till the heat of the day turns cold
A mile below daylight
A day behind now
A fall to toneless end of the day
The overrun thought
The empty skin
The fight to hold darkness at bay
But I’ll rise up again
And I’ll smile again
The sun will come rolling over that hill
And it’s mine again
Over the line again
Life again bends to the weight of my will

The Suicide

Rub me out,
Start again,
Save me from my fate.
I know the end
Is coming soon,
I just can’t stand the wait.
Time to bring
The curtain down
And write my final line.
I know the end
Comes to us all,
I just can’t wait for mine.
To live? To die?
The question is dead.
There’s only left to die.
My final page
Is turning now.
I know my end is nigh.
Would that I
Could change the thing,
I would not near know how.
Change it all?
It matters not.
I know the end is now

A Different Me

People see a different me
To the me I am inside.
They see a smile yet all the while
I seek a place to hide.

I wear my mask like a lion’s heart
Or a fool affected sop.
They like to see the show face but
I want it all to stop.

The game decries my inner self,
Debased, I smile again.
My gain is nought but time escaped,
And loathing self-disdain.

I fear not nor facilitate
Whatever a day may be,
Just be as may, but may I be
And end the day as me.